Mothers, It Is Okay To Not Be Okay

Moms, have you ever feel like you are burning out that you didn't want to do anything at all? Have you ever woke up in the morning and think 

"Please, I just wanna lay on my bed doing nothing"?

I bet all of you must have felt the same. Yup, that was me today.

But the thing is, I started to feel like that today when I was at an event (my makcik's engagement event). Boleh bayang tak macam mana I rasa tengah duduk sembang-sembang, and suddenly what I wanna do is just sleep...

So I started to feel lemau sangat when the folks were talking chit-chatting. I was like... Please, I just want to sleep, NOW!

So, as usual, if I ever feel like this, usually I'll let my husband handles Adellia. Like, please give me time.

Aiman was very understanding. He'd entertaining, feeding, playing with Adellia when he saw I sat there in silence.

I just said to Aiman,

"Please take care of Adellia. I mengantuk".

Little did he know I was just feeling burned out....

The burned out feeling bawak sampai ke malam, that Aiman handles all Adellia's needs. Until now.. (I typed this when Aiman and Adellia were in front of television watching Adellia's favorite cartoons).

So I discover one of the ways that can help moms out there overcome this "burn out" feeling:

1. Give time to yourself

This really helped me out A LOT. Usually when I feel I don't want to do anything, Aiman can read me. He'd usually take Adellia with him. He'd usually say 

"Let's play together, Adellia"

I akan play with my phone, reading, watching kdrama sampai melepet untuk bagi I masa. And sometimes I akan keluar alone untuk me-time.

Trust me moms, it helped! You are also a human being, you are not a robot.

2. Talk with your partner

Ladies, it is important to communicate with your partner how you felt. Kalau macam I, I memang sejenis kalau takde mood I akan diam je. Aiman knew me, so he'd usually asked me if I was okay etc, and I'd usually replied

"I need time alone"

So dia akan faham and gave me space. So he took Adellia with him to give me time and space. 

Ladies, please, it worked! Sometimes, all you need is just TIME & SPACE. That's why I said, talk with your partner.

3. Acknowledge and let go

If you find yourself too bothered with the feelings of burned out, LET GO. Just let it go. Dia macam... you know that this is just for a while. You'll be okay and it is okay to not be okay :')

4. Sleep for how long you want and come back stronger

Sleep is the solution to all problems. I couldn't deny that. Go to sleep. And don't forget to come back stronger tomorrow :')

5. Forget about today and preserve your mental health

After I did all of the above, I'd forget about yesterday and start to feel okay. And please, after you had your time & space, come back to your baby and kiss them!

Tell them how much you loved them and thank you for understanding.

Source: Google

Ini apa yang I buat whenever this feeling appeared. Yes, I usually felt this way every once in a while. That's why sebenarnya it is very important for mothers to preserve their mental health into a good level. Because you are taking care of another human. You are also a human being. You have emotions and feelings. You deserve time alone too. Nothing is perfect and you don't need to be perfect for your child. Because humans are not perfect. And can't be.

There are many ways that you can do to overcome the "burn out" feelings. Discover which one is your preferences and no need to feel guilty if you do that. You don't have to feel guilty if all you need is time for yourself.

And remember, come back stronger, Mothers! 💓

Preparation Before Let Baby on Plane

Masa mother-in-law balik Malaysia itu hari, they planned a last minute trip to Penang by flight. That was a really last minute plan. MIL nak jumpa all her adik beradik since dah lama tak balik sini for 3 years plus.

Jadi disebabkan I dengan husband kahwin zaman PKP and I tak pernah jumpa sedara belah Kedah sana, plus with Adellia dah setahun pun, we never meet them, so I join la naik plane untuk ke Penang.

So, that was Adellia's first flight (which I was quite nervous la walaupun sekejap je, less than an hour). I am quite busy that week so I tak prepare la apa benda should I do before letting baby on flight. Sehari sebelum flight baru I read what should I prepare etc.

On the way to Penang, while waiting for flight, Adellia dah tertidur dulu sebab bangun awal pagi. Masa tu I dah nervous sebab I want her to sleep on plane! Tapi dia tidur sekejap je.

Things I did:

1. I talked to my husband, let she played around. Before boarding, I bagi dia main puas puas, jalan sana sini sampai penat.

Masa ni I tak bagi susu and boleh tahan lama la dia bertahan. Yang penting let baby/toddler played sampai penat. Penat yang sampai boleh tertidur atas plane. Which means, berlari sana sini, jalan jauh-jauh etc.

2. Change diaper before fly.

Masa tunggu nak boarding I changed her diaper. Ni penting jugak sebab nak biar baby selesa.

3. Make sure baby is full. Untuk baby yang dah boleh makan, give them foods before fly.

Tapi disebabkan flight to Penang dalam 40 minit sahaja, so I dah bagi makan light je before fly. Sampai Penang baru cari makan berat.

4. Atas plane, I ada baca, masa pressure dekat telinga tu, bagi susu untuk kurangkan pressure.

Tapi apakan daya, masa baru je nak fly (to Penang), she was grumpy so I terpaksa bagi susu masa belum berlepas. Kiranya, masa landed tu, she felt the pressure on both ear and menangis ye. So I had to calm her, tepuk-tepuk, and stand untuk dukung. Masa ni nasib baik all the passengers calm and no one was looking la haha.

(LESSON I LEARNED: patut bagi sebelum fly, and bagi lagi masa landed to reduce the pressure).

So masa nak balik KL, I berjaya buat macam ni. And flight balik KL, she was ok, not crying. Siap boleh main dengan stewards and passengers. Nasib baik ada orang nak layan main hide and seek haha.

To Penang

To KL

Untuk flight balik boleh dikatakan berjaya la buat dia tenang. Keluar je dari plane, dia dah tertidur sebab dah penat sangat main masa boarding tu. So I think all the steps above is important bila nak fly with baby. Can use the tips for next trip pulak!

Post VIVA Things

Continue from previous post, what you need to do after you have passed your VIVA session. So, after you have heard 

"Congratulations, you have passed/completed your Master/PhD study"

There you go! It's time for a correction thingy.

Correction ni depends on what status you got for your VIVA. If you pass with minor correction, UPM will give 3-months for you to do correction (during COVID19 period). If you pass with major correction, then you will get 6-months to do correction. You can check further on UPM's website.

So after you already finished with the corrections, there are a few documents that you need to submit along with the correction thesis.

- GS-16a form
- GS25 form
- GS17 form (for graduation, along with RM200 fee)
- 1 copy of Thesis (corrected)
- List of correction
- 1 copy of Abstract (in Malay & English)
- Manuscript (accepted or published)
- Text Similarity Report (under 20%)

During my time, I just sent through email to SGS. Masa tu still PKP and UPM is closed except for urgent matters. So I was told to send all the documents online.

I even got all the signatures online (by email). Mulanya risau juga, tapi fuh nasib baik UPM staffs efficient. So I got all forms signed and verified. After that, you will get email saying that all documents were received.

Actually, I have to submit hardcopy after PKP ends. But I didn't. So I went to Counter 4 SGS and told them about this (cause it was almost 1 year after I submitted the correction). So they just took GS25, GS17 and GS16a hardcopies form. I pergi sini lepas I dapat email from Senate that requires me to do one last step (which is hardbound).

So SGS terus suruh hantar B5 Thesis format. REMEMBER, you have to submit B5 format ok. They will not accept A4 format (I submitted A4 format and got rejected). So bila dah rejected tu, they asked to follow the format exactly as the guidelines.

You will get Approval Sheet to insert in your thesis during printing later.

Once you submit the B5 format, you have to wait for 2 working days. They will review and comment for further correction (this one correction after senate approval). Once you get your thesis, please do correction exactly as told. They will mark and write down any corrections there.

So, you will need to do the corrections again and send back to them for final check. SGS was very strict. They will check the margin and spacing as the guidelines. Once they are satisfied, then you are ready for hardbound printing.

For Masters, you can print 5 copies of hardbound. 2 copies are compulsory (1 for library and 1 for faculty). Another 2 copies for your supervisors and you can keep 1 for yourself.

Once your hardbound is ready, you need to get your supervisor committee's signatures and stamps before you can submit the thesis to Counter 4 SGS. Next, submit your hardbound along with GS16b form + 1 CD to SGS to obtain Dean's signature. Usually you may collect your hardbound after 2 working days.

But, I dapat my hardbounds on the spot. They signed it immediately there. They will take 1 copy of your thesis (so they can send to library). SGS baik hati untuk send the copy themselve to the library. Then they will give you a "Green form". You have to collect the signature from your faculty and submit 1 copy of your thesis. After you bagi 1 thesis copy to your faculty, then they will sign your Green form.

Ok, then you are almost there! After that you have to go to SGS Counter 3 to claim your transcript and Dean's letter (to clarify that you have completed your Master study). Then they will signed the "Green form" and keep it.

Masa I submit this Green form, the staff tiba-tiba asked for my GS17 form (which I already submitted all of the forms before). They asked if I have another copy. Of course I have but that one is my copy. Tapi I terpaksa la ambil my copy dalam kereta and gave to them sebab I don't want to delay the Transcript and Dean's letter. And then I heard one of them said "form tu mungkin dekat xxx". And immediately asked me if I have other copy. Adoi. I think they should clarify with their staff first before asking another copy from student. But what to do lah, I already gave them. Hmm. Hope there is no issue later.

They will give the transcript and Dean's letter in the envelope. And then, congratulations! You have completed your Master study :)

Boleh tunggu convocation, which UPM will inform you in the email later.

Phew, what a journey I had! I settled all the process above in 1 day, which took me 2 hours and a half. Tapi seriously penat gila drive ulang alik to 2 different places sebanyak 4 kali. Hahah. Dah lah my faculty and SGS consider quite far la jugak. So it was a bit renyah to those yang have no transportation. Tapi sebab I nak settle semua in 1 day, so I rush sangat-sangat ulang alik my faculty and SGS 4 kali. Lucky me that I successfully submitted all the forms above in 1 day.

To those who are continuing your Master degree in UPM, I wish you goodluck and all the best. It was a bitter sweet memories to further my Master degree in UPM. Thank you UPM :)

Viva Preparation (What You Need to Do Before You Are Ready for A VIVA)

I have completed my Viva presentation 1 year ago, but I just wanted to share my experiences to help everyone out there who are struggling on what's the next step to take if you are ready for Viva presentation.

I takut I lupa lupa je ni. Sebab dah lama sangat dah haha. Ok hope it helps! If you guys are ready for VIVA presentation, first thing first, you have to submit GS-14a form. Ini baru form taw, belum lagi thesis submission. This form is a notice of submission, macam kira nak bagitahu you are ready for VIVA la.

P/S: For UPM students, there are TWO submission(s) for THESIS taw. I will explain later.

Make sure you fit the criteria above. Then, only you can submit 14a form. If possible, submit this form 3-months in advance. Along this form, you have to prepare i) Table of Content of your thesis & ii) Abstract.

Once you dah submit this form, then boleh la start complete your chapters in your thesis. Mind you that proses untuk tunggu VIVA memang sangat lama, that's why advisable to submit 3-months in advance. University have to appoint Examination Committee.

For Master students, you will have 1 external examiner. From other university which will be your examiner during your VIVA. They also will review your thesis and correct anything they want. Berdebar kan? Haha

So I submitted mine on January 2020. Lama dah sebenarnya, then due to COVID19, I have to wait for almost 1-year k. Really, lama gila.

Then, once University has nominated your Examination Committee, you need to prepare GS-15a form and please bring along what they asked. For Masters student, you have to prepare THREE(s) hard copies of your thesis and Turnitin report. Plus, 1 CD of PDF version & Turnitin report in it.

This process pun kena get few signatures before you can send them. Memang kena kesana kesini sikit part ni.

Submit 15a form with these

Ini belum hardbound taw. Just submission of thesis before VIVA. Your thesis will be sent to your Examination Committee for them to check and review.

Then, you have to wait again. This process also quite long. Sebab your Examiners will check your thesis taw. I tunggu 6-bulan (also due to COVID19 too). Then, last-last I rasa cam lama sangat, I terus contact UPM and inform them about this. Terus they asked me which date you want to do the VIVA. So after I talked with my SV about this, I agreed to do VIVA 1-month after. That time I was still working, so it was my busy month. After long thinking, I think 1-month after is ok (because I can't wait to settle this once and for all).

So I pilih tarikh 9/3/2021 for my VIVA presentation. Tak fikir apa dah ni. Nak nervous pun takleh sebab dah setahun lebih dok tunggu. Ingat-ingat lupa je semua content. So 2-weeks before, I read my thesis everyday. Fahamkan about my research (padahal taktau dah nak baca apa).

And I also request for VIVA online (that time I was pregnant, and I was concerned about COVID19 too). Luckily, they approved. So I did my VIVA online at 9am.

If you want to see the details, please log in your student portal. You will find all the informations there. It is important to keep up to date with your portal okay.

Phew, it was tough haha. Got so many questions, and I also didn't know if my answers satisfied them. Haha. But Alhamdulillah, I passed. Phew.

Then, the hardest part was corrections. Omg, really, it was tough. Because I was so eager to settle the correction as soon as I can (I was afraid I terberanak before submit the corrections lol). So I bersengkang mata siapkan corrections in 48 DAYS je. One week before I terberanak haha. Nasib baik sempat submit.

Ok I will continue the next part in the next post. Please stay tune on what you need to do next. Really, so many things to do...

Eczema

Dua bulan yang lepas Adellia ada sikit eczema dekat tepi mulut. Mulanya kering je and dia tak garu. So I keep on sapu cream Cetaphil Advanced Protection Cream Baby tu. The irritation will come and go. Lepastu, suddenly ada satu malam tu dia garu masa tengah tidur (she suddenly know how to scratch). Bangun pagi esoknya I terkejut dah berdarah and habis kena comforter semua.

So I was really concerned. Terus I cuci and sapu cream Cetaphil lagi. And disebabkan dah berair and berdarah, cream tu macam tak sempat nak act upon the cut, she already scratch back. I was shocked kot and I gotta find one cream yang kena soothe the wounds and dry it as soon as possible. Sebab I taknak dia garu lagi.

I made quite a lot of survey untuk cream for eczema yang boleh soothe the wounds as soon as possible. One of it I found Honey & Olive brand. So I terus made order untuk Rescue Cream and Restore Salve dulu. I wanna try this two first before consider to buy others.

Masa I placed order tu luka Adellia masih kering. And it turned out she scratch the wounds at the same day I placed order. Lepastu luka tu dah jadi infection cause she keeps scratching taw. And I tak fikir panjang dah, terus bawak dia ke klinik and consult Doctor. So Doctor gave cream untuk sooth the infection and also for moisture. And she also got antibiotic untuk makan sekali for 3 days. After sapu the cream, the infection is soothed. And I stop of using it after the wound cuma tinggal dry je. Cause the Doctor said, cream tu ada steroid, just sapu nipis je.

Then, a friend suggested cream named Aquaphor. Mulanya I nak try Honey & Olive tu dulu, but it seems like the cream did not really help with the wound after third time of application. Mungkin jugak faktor Adellia keep scratching. Basically, her eczema is the degil one taw. Very hard to soothe.

So I bought la Aquaphor pulak untuk try. The texture is same as Vaseline. Very moisture and thick. You just need to use a little je, because, really, it is so THICK. I bought 50g first because I wanna try. Tapi I rasa macam lambat habis because memang sikit sangat guna tapi dah boleh apply to most area. And I think I like la the cream, cause Adellia likes to touch her face, so most cream yang I guna memang akan hilang after application if she touches her face. This Aquaphor's texture is thick. So macam lambat la nak hilang if she touches her face.

After been using this cream for few weeks, I think I like it! Adellia memang ada masalah menggaru sikit. She always scratches especially masa tidur. Macam-macam cara la nak prevent she scratches tapi itu lah, susah jugak.

So far, I think this cream act fast. Sebab if sampai luka dia garu, I just apply this cream, and soon nampak macam dah sooth sikit luka tu. Which is THE POINT! I memang tengah cari cream yang sooth cepat to prevent infections.

I brought this cream everywhere I go. Including masa travel raya itu hari. Nightime sleep I kena balut tangan dia to prevent she scratches. Itu pun kadang dia pandai buka balutan tu.

Thank you to a friend yang suggested this cream for eczema problems. Can see the difference la. I want to share the after pictures tapi tak ada lagi cause the wound is still there (she still scratching) and susah nak dapat clean skin macam dulu cause the cycle keeps repeating haha. Bila dah elok, dia garu lagi. So tak sempat nak licin, dah jadi balik. I will update when I found ways to prevent her from scratching haha!

Aquaphor Advanced Therapy - RM29.90
Honey & Olive - Up to RM34.90